I started my professional career.
I had gotten a welcome package from PwC stating that a flight and hotel had been booked for me for August 22 through September 3 in Dallas, TX. I had trave
led with friends before, but this was the first time I was going anywhere alone.
Mom and Dad dropped me off at the airport and off I went for my first business trip.
I had no idea that the next 2 weeks would have such an impact on my life.
Upon landing, I met up with a guy that I knew through school. And when I say I knew him, it's in the context that we knew each other's name. We never had any classes together and had some mutual friends in common. Little did I know that Tom and I would become friends.
After eating dinner tonight, I met up with my roommate, Sarah. She was really nice and I was excited that my roommate for the next 2 weeks was going to be a great girl. Soon after, I met the remainder of my co-workers, Joe, Mike, and Kayla.
We all got along fabulously well. I think part of it is due to the fact that we were sequestered in this hotel in a city that wasn't familiar and we didn't know anyone else.
The 6 of us on our last day in Dallas
The 2 weeks we spent in Dallas were awesome. We went to a real rodeo. It was so much fun and to see the little kids (probably 3 years old) riding sheep was hilarious. I got to shop in a very exclusive mall and I went into Tiffany's for the first time! And we found some really awesome bars that we frequented those few weeks. (Also, did you know that Dallas is a dry county, so you have to have these little cards that say you can drink? So strange. Especially because you can get them everywhere.)
Once we came home from Dallas, our friendships changed a bit, as life changes, too. Within a year, 3 of the 6 of us left the firm. Sarah and Kayla wanted a better work/life balance. And really, who wouldn't? We were working 80+ hrs a week and traveling constantly. I think I was out of town virtually every other week from September to May that year. Mike took a transfer to San Francisco where he heard that both the hours and weather was better. It wasn't the case for him. But he seems happy there.
Since Joe, Tom and I were left, we remained friends.
Joe and I spent many hours together at a client in a very small room. The rooms are meant for for a quick meeting for 4. Instead, we spent 16 hours a day (for months and months) in there with anywhere from 2-4 other people. So due to our *very* close proximity, we became close friends. I knew all about his dating escapades and he knew that I was going to scream in frustration when my mom called me for the 2nd time in an hour to ask where she put the scotch tape.
He's been such an awesome friend. I joke that he's my *life guru* because anytime I have a question on something, I call him and ask. When I moved into my townhouse, he spent the entire day helping me lift heavy stuff and carry boxes inside. And when his basement flooded, I was over helping to mop up the mess. We also got to celebrate when the other got married, about 3 weeks apart from each other.
Joe's such a great friend and I truly treasure that 7 years later, we can still lean on and enjoy each others company.
Tom and I have a completely different relationship. We knew of each other at school, but never had a conversation. He was a hockey player and a lot of my friends were all about athletes and thought he was cute. So when they found out that he was going to training with me, they were all super excited to hear how he was.
Boring and quiet.
Kidding. Kind of.
Tom's a very quiet and understated guy. Sometimes we'd have these awkward conversations and really we have nothing in common. But our relationship grew and we ended up on a client together. Like Joe, Tom and I worked together late into the night and it was always really nice to have someone else that was in the same boat with you. Some of our seniors were particularly difficult to work for (for instance, I know exactly how one of them takes her salad - no tomatoes, extra onions, balsamic on the side - and coffee - 3 sugars and a splash of creamer).
After that first year, we didn't have too many opportunities to see each other. We'd end up on the same clients for a few days here and there, but mostly we'd communicate via email and the occasional chat in the office.
There was also a small point of contention between the Hubster and Tom. Apparently the entire office (but me) was convinced that Tom liked me. I didn't think so, but even the Hubster wasn't a huge fan of him. There were some *incidents* where I think they both over-reacted. But Tom tolerated Paul because I was dating him and Paul tolerated Tom because he was my friend and co-worker. Not a perfect relationship, but it worked.
Two and a half years ago, Tom got some devastating news. I could hardly believe that one of the healthiest people I knew had cancer. And one of the hardest things that I have ever seen was watching chemo drip into my friend's body.
Unfortunately, Tom has really struggled with his leukemia. He had a stem cell transplant 2 years ago. Thankfully he found a donor that was a perfect match and that procedure went perfectly. I didn't get to see him as much as I had wanted, but we communicated via text and the occasional visit. About a year and a half ago, he came down with graft vs host disease.
GVHD is devastating my friend. Some people have it in their digestive track, liver, or other organs. Tom's has manifested in his skin. For awhile, it made his skin extremely rigid and he was unable to bend his arms and legs. He did make a pretty good recovery from it. I saw him about a week before my wedding. He looked much thinner, but was still Tom. He mentioned that he was starting on some new medicine to help the disease and hopefully he'd be feeling better soon.
After I got married, I moved away and didn't hear from Tom for awhile. I sent emails and texts but only got a limited response. Now in hindsight, I should have made more of an effort to go see him and keep in touch.
He sent out an update a few weeks ago that was devastating to me. While I was casually chatting up Tom via text and email, he had an infection in his face and the GVHD had completely devastated his skin. He was in physical and occupational therapy daily. It got so bad that he was going to a special hospital for a hyperbaric chamber a few times a week to restore the mobility in his skin. He wasn't really leaving the house, was walking with a walker or using a wheelchair, and hadn't driven since November.
I was horrified that I hadn't tried harder to see him. I knew that he was not feeling his best, but it made me feel like I just completely dropped the ball on our friendship.
So Monday, I went over to visit him.
I was not prepared to see his current physical state. I hope that I didn't look too surprised at his physical appearance. The disease really has changed how he looks dramatically. While we were chatting, I tried desperately to see any part of him that would remind me that Tom's still inside. But he just looks sad. Even his eyes look sad and defeated.
So I'm heartbroken that my friend is in such pain and sadness. I wish that I lived closer and could visit more often. So I think I'm going to make it a mandatory stop on my home visits to see him. I don't know if GVHD is a terminal diagnosis. Nothing that I can see says that it is or isn't, but it doesn't matter. Tom needs a friend. And his mom needs a break.
During your prayers this week, can you please keep him in them? My dear friend needs all that he can get.
So it has been a crazy ride, these past 7 years. One of us has a life-threatening disease and has overcome a giant evil in his life. One of us is a manager at a large regional accounting firm. One of us is living it up on the West Coast. One of us is a mom to 3 adorable babies. One of us is sitting for the CPA exam. And me, well I just got another promotion to Corporate Secretary. I know outrank the Hubster and I'm an officer in a Company. It's really awesome.
7 years later...there's been lots of good and a lot of bad, but I wouldn't trade the friendships for anything.
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