In my heart today

We just had a fantastic weekend spending time with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend.  We spent time crafting and shopping, and just generally hanging out.  Which is always fun.  We got to celebrate Paul and Jess's birthday at the Neely's BBQ restaurant.  (If you ever watched Down Home With The Neely's on the Food Network - this is them.  And their food is amazing!)

Yesterday afternoon, the guys decided to go watch The Lone Survivor.  It's the story about 4 Navy SEALS who went on a mission to find a Taliban leader and ended up under attack.  3 of the SEALS died in combat but were so brave and fought until literally they couldn't anymore.  I don't want to give away the plot so I won't say much else about the specifics, but it's safe to say that it was incredibly moving and unbelievable to see.

I was hesitant to see the movie for a variety of reasons.  I'm incredibly squeamish and I hate watching movies that are really just blood and guts with some shooting.  Since everyone was going, though, I decided to just do it.  Plus, I love all things Wahlberg (Donnie, Mark, their hamburgers, lol) so I figured it would be a good movie.

The movie turned into the most graphic war movie I have ever seen in my life.  I ended up crying (yes, I'm that bad) and closing my eyes for at least a third of the movie.  I peeked out a few times and saw some things that I don't really want to ever see again.

I *know* I'm old enough to grow up and watch these movies, but they really disturb me.  For instance, I didn't really sleep at all last night.  I mostly just thought about all the people that died.  Not only in that combat but in all of the wars.  And today it's really weighing on my heart.

I know that we are a free country because there are brave men and women who sacrifice their lives for us.  It makes me profoundly grateful for that gift.  But I also know that I don't do enough and need to figure out how to do more.  To say thank you.  And to be supportive.

I already googled a bunch of ideas.  Looking forward to putting them in action soon.